Unforeseen
by carlycarter
Summary: Kate/Juliet Fic. "THAT" she tells you "Is not what happened to Jack." Not a story that fans of Jack will enjoy Set in season 3.
1. Chapter 1

_There was blood everywhere. Burning her skin. She could taste it. _

_It made her sick. _

_His eyes haunted her. Fixed open, staring into space. Vacant, dead eyes, _

_She knelt beside him on the muddy ground. Her fingers aching from clutching that knife so damn hard. Fingers frozen so completely that she could not release it from her grasp. She closed her eyes, willing it to go away. _

_Asking herself over and over, what have I done? _

As they sat to work it out, it had been almost an entire day since the last confirmed sighting of Jack. Accusations were flying in every direction. How could they not have noticed? Where had he said he was going? Why had he taken off alone? They began forming teams, allocating who would go north, who would go south, grouping provisions.

It was late in the afternoon. They made plans to camp, designating the safest places to stop. Arguments ensued, was it safe? should they wait until morning? Would that be too late? Surely Jack could take care of himself. There was no sense in others getting lost or injured or killed.

You tried, many times, to offer input. Didn't you know the island better than they did? Didn't you know safe places to camp? Weren't you a Dr? The most help to Jack if he was injured.

"You're a fertility doctor, darling." Sawyer sneered at you. "What use is that gonna be to Jack?"

"Jack was a spinal surgeon. A Doctor is a Doctor. I'd be more use than you."

"Was?" Sawyer asks accusingly, "Something you want to tell us?"

You just shook your head. You should have known better than to open your mouth at all. Still they despised you, didn't trust you. Jack was the only one who believed in you, the only one you could count on. Jack was gone.

"Best you just wait here then Doc, so we'll know where to find you if we need you." Sawyer orders you.

He was being condescending and spiteful. And yet still it made sense, to be in the one spot in case Jack did need a Doctor. Besides you didn't fancy getting yourself lost alone in the jungle, and no one was putting up their hand to be included in your search party.

"Do you trust me here alone ?" You couldn't help but taunt him in return.

Questioning glances were exchanged around the group. The silence was an answer in itself. No, they didn't trust you, they will never trust you. But no one wanted to stay behind and guard you, no one wanted to be left out of the search for Jack.

A few nearby places to search crossed your mind. You'd wait til they had gone off on their search and start your own, search Jack's tent for clues. You wondered briefly if the "others" had taken Jack. If this was "your people", they hadn't let you in on it. Not that it would be a great surprise to find yourself once again left in the dark.

You hated it, living here. Hated every second of it. You'd gone from your place of superiority, to the bottom of the food chain. You didn't doubt for a second that if the food on this island ran out, you'd be the first one they'd carve up and dish out for dinner. These thoughtless, stupid, blind, lost people. But you still had one thing- knowledge. It gave you power. You still had the upper hand. So you kept telling yourself. You're still one of the "others".

What was wrong with that? Life wasn't fair. No one else was looking out for you. You had to look after yourself. Each and every one of them did the same. After the way they treated you like dirt, why should you care what would befall them? It wasn't the kind of person you wanted to be. You look back at your simple, uncomplicated life, before you ended up in this hellish place, and you don't recognise yourself. But that's life. Things happen. You adapt, or die. And so you had adapted.

It didn't make you feel good, the things you'd been involved in. It sickened you. But you had to hold onto that hope, of getting away from here, seeing your sister. It was the thing that kept you going. And any hope of that meant allegiance with the "others". They had the power. And you tell yourself you belong with people like that. Not the people stranded on this beach, these innocent unfortunate victims. These survivors. But deep down there is that sinking feeling you. What if the "others" have just left you behind? What if you're trapped here forever. Surviving. With these people. It was all you'd been doing since you arrived here really, surviving. You couldn't call it living. And you actually allow yourself to wonder- Will it ever end? What if it never does?

If Jack doesn't come back, things are going to get hairy. You'll need to work on something else. Fast. To win the trust of the group. God help you if they think you've done something to Jack. Maybe it's over. Maybe you don't even care. You're sick of this. All of this.

You snap yourself out of it, the way you always do. Rachel. What was she thinking? You needed to survive this, to get home. The memory of Rachel is so distant. So surreal. You can't even remember her voice, what she looked like. Did Rachel remember you?

Claire's voice pulls you from your thoughts...


	2. Chapter 2

"Juliet?" You hear Claire's hesitant voice speak. It's almost as if she is frightened by you, and it makes you feel somewhat better.

You turn to face her, and nod in response.

"I just wondered, I want to join the search, but…" She motions to the sleeping baby in her arms.

Ah so they were going to leave Claire and the baby here to guard you. That seemed a bit foolish, honestly if you were a danger why leave a girl and a baby here, with no defence against whatever it is they think you've done to Jack?

"I wondered, since you're staying here, if you could keep an eye on him, just until tomorrow."

You stepped back, shocked. You hadn't expected that.

"If you don't want to,.." Claire rushes to say, regretting instantly that she had boldly asked you this favour "I just thought.."

"Thought what?" You need to know.

"Like I said, since you were staying, and they need as many people out there in the search, if it's a hassle, forget I asked."

You're speechless for a few seconds

"Ok forget it." She shrugs, and turns to walk away.

"Wait. I was just surprised, that you'd trust me." You protest.

"I do." Claire affirms.

"Why?"

"You helped us, we wouldn't be here without you. And I saw you, looking at Aaron, the other night when you though no one was watching. I saw the way you looked at him. I saw you pick him up as he cried, rocking him in your arms, and how he settled so peacefully. He likes you. That's good enough for me."

You hadn't thought anyone was watching you that night, as you smiled at the baby, picking him up. You had ached for weeks to hold that baby. You closed your eyes, held him close stroking his back, inhaling the sweet smell of baby skin. You closed your eyes and thought about your nephew, Julian. You longed to have been able to hold him as a baby. And a tear slid down your cheek, which you hastily wiped away.

You wanted them to trust you, and being nice to babies was a good start. But you would have died if they had seen you standing there , crying, singing to that baby. They would have seen straight into your soul. Not just this nice pretence, this act of a caring Juliet. That would have been fine. But they would have seen your pain, your grief, your hopes. Your true self. It frightened you unimaginably.

"I'd love to watch him Claire." You reached out as she placed the child in your arms, kissing him on the head.

"Mummy will be back soon." She told him.

He smiled and wrapped his tiny fingers around your index finger. You told yourself that gesture was merely a reflex in babies. Still, it made you feel special in that moment.

"See he likes you. He's not even a bit sad to see mummy go, are you?" Claire sounded almost disappointed that her baby wasn't making more of a fuss at the prospect of Claire leaving. He settled so peacefully in your arms, as if he belonged there. And you felt that great enormous hole in her heart grow just a little smaller as Claire called out thanks and set off with Kate, Sayid, and Charlie on the search.

Charlie watched on hesitantly, but Claire silenced him with an icy look. Aaron was her baby, and she would be the one to decide where he was safe. He was safer on the beach with Juliet than off in the jungle on a search for Jack.

They were the last group to leave, and just as they were almost out of earshot, Juliet heard Kate mumble some excuse, about how it would be better if she caught up with another team, and then Kate turned, and walked away alone.

You watch as Kate heads along the beach. Curiosity getting the better of you, you round up some things for the baby, and follow silently behind her.

Kate remained unaware she being followed. She didn't glance once back over her shoulder. After all who would follow her? They were all occupied, searching for Jack. All but Juliet, the useless babysitter. Why wasn't Kate searching for Jack too? You pictured she would have been the first in line. It was stupid and thoughtless for Kate to go marching off alone, unprepared, in her quest to save Jack. Something wasn't adding up.

You watch as Kate makes her way along the rocky shore, and disappears from sight. A cave, you realise. It was well hidden. If you hadn't seen Kate go in, you wouldn't have been able to find it.

You enter the cool dark cave, the baby soundly sleeping in your arms. Sunlight shining through a crack in the ceiling....


	3. Chapter 3

Kate is sitting, rocking back and forth, hands wrapped around her knees. You've never seen her so broken. All day long she had stood with the others. Planning the search for Jack, with not a single sign of cracking. You realise she had waited until the others left the beach. That she wanted to be alone. Was she really that distraught because Jack was missing? Really? Because that didn't quite seem to fit.

You know you're intruding on her privacy. If she had done the same to you, followed you to your secret place where you cried, it would have angered you.

You may have turned and left. But the baby made a noise, and her head sprung to look up at you.

"You followed me." She accuses you bitterly.

You didn't deny it.

"Are you ok?" You ask hesitantly.

"What's it to you? Shouldn't you be busy babysitting?"

"I thought you'd be looking for Jack." You comment.

"I am." She protests.

"In a cave?" You ask incredulously.

"Fuck off, Juliet. Just fuck off."

You cover the baby's ears. "Hey." You protest at her swearing in front of the child.

Kate only shakes her head.

Instead of leaving her alone as you know you should have, you find the strangest words about to escape your lips. You wonder if this baby has melted your brain. "You shouldn't have come here alone Kate, telling no one where you are. After what happened to Jack..."

"What are you, my mother?" She interrupts. And before you can answer, she adds."Besides. _That,_ is not what happened to Jack." Her tone is resentful, angry. That's the Kate you were used to interacting with. Not this crying, helpless creature you'd seen when you arrived in the cave.

"What did happen to Jack?" You ask, accusingly

Her eyes cloud over, she looks away. You've lost her.

You place the baby down , your jacket wrapped around him to keep him warm. He whimpers softly and you murmur reassuring words to him, keeping him quiet for the moment.

You move closer to her, cautiously, fully expecting her to fling her arms up, push you away, telling you to fuck off, or to just get up and walk out. But she doesn't do any of those things.

"Kate?" You say it gently because ….you don't know why really. You reach towards her. It startles her, as if she didn't realise you were even sitting in front of her. As if she is in shock.

As she pulls away from you, she gasps in pain, her hand clutching at her side. She hadn't meant to betray to you that she was injured. You caught her off guard, but she pulls herself together. She casts a glance to the baby, and instead of swearing at you again, she says "Would you please leave."

"You're hurt."

"What do you care?" She wants to know.

You ask yourself the same question. What do you care? You don't. It's all about winning the trust of the people, so you tell yourself. That's why you're going to help the stupid girl.

You reach towards her. She holds her breath as you touch her, and your own breath catches in your throat. She doesn't push you away. You deduce she has a few broken ribs, some bruising. Nothing life threatening.

You can't help but think about how beautiful she looks. Even muddy, tear stained, insane and bruised. And when you touch her, it's like you can feel her agony, from your fingertips right into your soul. And you softly murmur her name. "Kate."

She doesn't answer you.

"You have some broken ribs." You tell her.

"No kidding." She answers.

"What happened?" You ask.

She only shakes her head.

"It hurts so much, just breathing." She finally speaks

"Well, that happens when your ribs are broken." You respond.

"No." She tells you. "Even before that.

You nod, not quite understanding what Kate means. But knowing all too well how much just breathing can hurt, when you are far away from the people you love. When you make one fucking stupid choice in your life and wreck your own future, and so many other peoples. Yeah, breathing hurts. But you have to move on. Because one day, when you least expect it, something happens that changes your life forever.

She is breathing rapidly, panic setting in. And you reach towards her. "Calm down, take a deep breath." You tell her. You brush the hair out of her eyes, you're not sure why. Then you see it, carefully hidden by the way her tangled curls frame her face, the deep laceration to the side of her head.

"Kate, what happened?" You ask again.

Once again, she doesn't answer you.

"Kate, where is Jack?" You ask.

Then, it is as if something snapped inside of her mind. Kate is on her feet faster than a person with that many fractured ribs should be able to move.

"Wait." You call after her.

"You think I did something to Jack?" She asks you.

This time it's you who doesn't answer.

"Why do you think that?" She challenges you. "Because I'm a murderer?"

You can't think of a single thing to say.

"Why do you think I did it? Killed my step father?" She asks you.

"Because he tormented your mother, you were trying to protect her, so I'm told." You answer.

"No. That's not the reason." Kate answers. "it was because I am evil. To the core. Because I turn everything I touch to ashes. So take that kid, Juliet, and fuck off."

You can hear the baby crying. The sound echoes loudly in the cave. But he is alright. He'll be alright for just another minute. You're finally getting somewhere, and you can't leave Kate here like this.

"What do you want from me?" She asks. "You want to know what happened to Jack?" She taunts you.

You nod, but what you really want to ask is – _'What happened to you, Kate?'_

"It was an accident." She finally admits, softly....


End file.
